That time again.

It's that time of year again. Exams are looming and coursework is due to be submitted. It is almost the beginning of the end. Phase one is nearly over. I have been lucky enough to have been accepted to do the BVC but as a totally independent student with a horrendous credit file this must be paid for without the help of family and Bank Managers. This means my summer will be spent working every available hour. I was lucky enough to have a few quid given to me by those nice people at my Inn and a few pence from the BVC provider. But it's still going to be a hard slog, though I have allowed myself a few days off for the Reading Festival. The suffering is only made worse when a few days ago my flatmate turned up with a brand spanking new motor. A birthday present for his 22nd birthday. Yes 22nd! I am scared to ask what he was given for his 21st in case I blow up with jealousy. I keep telling myself that this is character building...

Failure to comply will result in...

The other day I had an email, sent to all law students, telling me that the Law School office is now open between 2 and 2.30 Tuesday to Thursday and students must absolutely not attend at any other time. And anyone who does turn up, except for dire emergencies will be reported to the Dean. We get a lot of emails telling us that such and such is now forbidden and failure to comply will result in being reported to the Dean. I've met the Dean a few times and he seems to be a nice bloke and I get the impression that he is fed up of people turning up at his office because his secretary has summoned them for drinking in the library or not putting the toilet seat down. They have also started doing random ID checks in the library and around the law school. This little old bloke who apparently has something to do with the Law School IT support walks around like he owns the place and randomly stops people and asks to see their student ID. More often than not he is told to piss off and he then asks them for their name and tells them that Robert Mugabe will be hearing from the Dean. I'm not sure what's going on to be honest. I had an email from my personal tutor reminding me that he is on study leave and will not be available for rest of the term. Study leave? Eh? Personal Tutor? Not available? I really don't get any of this. There was an email sent by one of the lecturers complaining that he was disappointed by the lack of people turning up for his lecture. He told us that if this trend continues he will be forced to take a register at the beginning of each lecture. How the hell is this going to work? There are close to 200 people on our year and as this is Land Law I would say that almost every person is enrolled on this module. By the time he had got through all the names the lecture would be over and he doesn't know who is who. It's bad enough in tutorials with just ten of us asked to write our names on a piece of paper and pass it on. Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II looks well for her age and has a pretty decent understanding of The Law and the Internet. Swears like a trooper though.

Bone Idol

I told you I'd be back didn't I. Not as quickly as you'd all hoped I'm sure but here I am anyway. So I'm sure you're all wondering where I've been for all this time. Well I'll tell you in a minute. First let me tell you how things are with me. Very good thanks for not asking. Everything seems to be going reasonably well at the moment and very little to complain about but I'm sure I'll still manage to find some stuff to whinge and groan about. Degree is falling into place, I think I've finally sussed how this law degree works and I've realised that there is no cheat or easy way of doing it. It's just work work and more work. The 'secret' is attending all lectures and tutorials. Sounds barmy doesn't it? I used to think I was a lazy until I moved in with my flatmates. I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like it. I miss the odd lecture because I can't be arsed. I sometimes spend the day tottering around the flat doing sweet FA and I've been be know to spend the odd day in bed and I am a world class procrastinator but these guys take the absolute piss and have taken lazy to a whole new level. I hate to say this but if these guys get their degree then it is proof if ever it was needed that the degree system is an absolute worthless joke because I can honestly say that in the months that I have lived with these guys they have not done a single iota of university work. It is well known that some courses are considered Mickey Mouse and there would be few who would disagree that Law is an intensive course. I would hate you to think that I am being snobbish - I have friends on other courses who work their bollocks off, work hard and play even harder. These guys neither work hard or play hard - they just sleep all day and watch TV all night. Zombies. They dedicate their lives to ensuring that they do no more than is absolutely necessary for anything. Examples include the use of paper plates and plastic cutlery to ensure they don't have to wash up after themselves. All food is microwavable and usually a Ready Meal eaten straight from the packaging it came from. God I really could go on and on about this but it's just too depressing. They are complete and utter waste of lives. Maybe I'm being harsh and maybe I'm being bitter as I sit here ready to read another 4 chapters of the Law of Dull while they sit in the living room engrossed by the latest goings on in Hollyoaks & Away followed by a double helping of Eastenders Street.

OK ...not that soon.

Student life has its ups and downs. It seems that some people concentrate on the ups and others on the down. I try my best to see my half empty glass as half full but it's not always easy. It's ten past four in the morning I am sitting in my room listening to what can only be described as a fucking racket. One of my fellow flatmates has become friendly with a girl from upstairs and she is unable to have a conversation without wailing like a banshee. She also has a habit of behaving as if it is 4pm in the afternoon and thinks nothing of calling from one side of the flat to the other and basically it comes down to her not having a thought about the other people who actually pay money to live in this flat and who not unreasonably would like to get some kip every now and then. The problem is that I am having difficulty deciding who I should be most annoyed with; the banshee or the flatmate who hasn't told her to shut the hell up because some people may be trying to sleep. You're probably not thinking well what about the other people in the flat, but now that I have mentioned it you probably are so I will explain... I live with vampires. Everyone knows that vampires don't like daylight, sleep all day and party all night but these are vampires with added extras - they don't like cleaning their own mess and something happens if the alcohol in their blood falls below a certain level. I don't know what because it has never happened. I used to think I was lazy but these guys are unwordably lazy. One of them has not left the flat for four months. The last time was to go downstairs to pick up the take-away. He has managed to avoid repeating this mammoth task by agreeing to pay for someone else's take-away as long as they go down to the main door to pick it up. But that's their problem not mine. When I say 'I'm off to bed lads see you tomorrow night' they respond with 'Goodnight Lawdent. Sweet dreams'. And I go to bed safe in the knowledge that they will spend the night in their individual rooms typing away to fat Americans on the internet. Quietly. Yes I can ask her to be quiet. Yes I can wear ear plugs. Yes I can have a word with him before bed tomorrow night. Yes I know it doesn't happen often and yes I love the guys like brothers but it's ten past four in the fucking morning!