The Boys in Blue.

I have a fifteen year old brother. He's no angel, he can be a cocky little gobshite, but compared to some of the kids I see and hear hanging around he is a good lad. He's not the studious type but is very hard working. He has had a grueling paper round since he was 12 gets up at half five every morning and does the work of, what used to be 3 paper boys and for this he gets the equivalent of the wage of two paper boys. He is also mad about cooking and has decided he wants to become a chef. When he's not in school or delivering papers he works at a hotel close to home. He started off preparing salads and now he works alongside the head chef and even runs the kitchen himself if the head chef is off, there are people in the restaurant, more qualified who defer to a 15 year old boy. The head chef and hotel managers are in the process of arranging for him to have an apprenticeship. He is all set to attend college 1 day a week and work at the hotel restaurant for the rest of the week. He will continue to be paid a proper wage and not the apprenticeship (or whatever it is called these days) paltry token rate. He considers himself unbelievably lucky to be getting paid for something he absolutely loves but the school do not see it this way and are constantly harassing him and the hotel because they think he is working too many hours at the hotel. People who's job it is to nosey into these things keep phoning the hotel and turning up to the restaurant see if my brother is working. The fact is even if he is not working he is there anyway. They would prefer him to spend his free time hanging around bus shelters with a bottle of cider like the rest of the kids his age and as I said he is no angel, and sometimes he does. As of yesterday he has been arrested 6 times. Each time he has been locked up for a couple of hours, interviewed and bailed. Each time he has been told to re-attend the police station at a later date and each time they tell him all charges have been dropped and to be on his way. On the last occasion he was accused of throwing a beer bottle at a car. One thing about my brother is that he is stupidly brutally honest and if he had done it he would have held his hands up and admitted to doing it. The facts are these. He was walking home from work at half ten at night, Five minutes away from the house a police car stopped, Two police officers got out and told him that he had thrown a bottle at a car. He said he did not. Mr Plod begged to differ and he was hauled to a building containing Police Officers but never open to the general public and thrown into a cell. At this point it seems that the police failed to realise that a fifteen year old boy expected home at half past ten might have a family wondering about his whereabouts... At half past midnight my frantic mother received a call from the police station requesting that she pick my brother up. On her arrival she hears a policeman explain to my brother that he has been bailed and must re-attend the station in one week. Reminds me of a Criminal Law question about PACE. Advise Lawdent's brother.

Match of the gay.

All through my life I have been vilified. Guilty of a crime against society. Made to feel like an outsider. Ostracised by fellow human beings and why? Because I do not like football. I have three football mad brothers. An uncle who is considered something of a footballing local legend in the small town I grew up. For some of my friends football is their religion and their politics. No matter where you are, if you are with another bloke and the very second there is a gap in conversation inevitably the conversation will turn to football and even though I have had the 'which team do you support' conversation a billion times I will never get used to the fact that when I explain I am not a football fan I am made to feel as if I would have heeded better by introducing myself as a necrophiliac with a passing interest in bestiality rather than admit that I do not like football. Also as I am a bit of a news junkie I seem to know quite a bit about the game and recent results and sometimes, usually if a supporter of a losing team is being ridiculed I may join in safe in the knowledge that there can be no comeback as my team has not been relegated or lost against Liverpool United. I think I could, if my life depended on it, therefore hold my own in pretending to like football. I have friends who are genuinely and absolutely distraught and traumatised when their team loses and know someone who knows someone who pulled strings to rearrange an uncles funeral as it was due to fall on a big game day. I was once at a newsagent in Manchester and when I went to pay for my paper the bloke behind the till asked me if I was City or United. I told him neither and he called me a 'fucking poof.' At school I was delighted to be picked last for the weekly kickaround. This was before you could get a GCSE in PE. In fact on some occasions I wasn't picked at all and the teacher would just let me do my own thing for an hour. Captains would rather be a man down than have me on the team. It is my understanding that in ye olden days football teams consisted of local lads and people supported their local teams. These days it seems to be that the players are from a long long way away and everyone supports Manchester United.

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The Polytechnic of life

Let's pretend that we all know what's going on and start the story at the end. I bought my degree from a university (uni1) with an excellent reputation, very high up in league tables, very old and distinguished and blah blah blah blah blah (A clue, it wasn't Hull). Uni2 however barely gets a mention in league tables and its biggest selling point is that rent is cheap around these parts! I know people are very much anti league tables especially if the university that they worked their croutons off to get their degree in darts is hidden in the bottom ten. To put it bluntly. Uni2 shits on uni1. Of course I realise that in most cases university is what you decide to make of it but in terms of resources, lecture size, etc etc etc uni2 really shines. Another point is that the LLB seems to me to be a lot more detailed than the one I did. Essay questions are bloody difficult and tutorial preparation requires an outstanding amount of depth. Oh and something that amazed me, considering the majority of people attending this course did not pick this university as their first choice and by their own admission did not do too well in their A levels most of them, to me anyway, seem startlingly intelligent and hard working. It may be that uni2 does not really offer much in terms of city life and extracurricular activities so there is not much else to do except to hit the books. I am glad that I have had this opportunity to experience this and I question what makes a university a good university in the eyes of a prospective employer. A first from Cambridge or a First from Liverpool Hope. What's the difference? Also, some of the people attending uni2 are locals who given the craziness of student debt have decided to attend a university close to home with many of them deciding to continue living with parents. Will this be detrimental? Searching through Chamber's websites I have struggled to find a member who studied at the University of Backarseofnowhereville or Prettyshit Polytechnic...

HSM2

So many fantastic new blogs and the untimely death of some old ones. I am completely distracted with catching up but will update my blawglist soon. I am currently watching High School Musical 2. Purely out of curiosity and I believe it is important to keep up with these things for the purpose of realising that something is being parodied. I have not seen HSM1. Also I find it odd and dare I say...no I do not...that I have seen the girl stars real life bits and pieces. Also why does the boy star look like he's made out of wax? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he is actually 43 and bathes in botox.

Nothing to lose

All this talk of gloom and doom is getting me down. I am at an age when economic downturns shouldn't matter to me. I have no mortgage, no children and no career. But today I experienced the crunch. The company I work for is feeling the pinch and the ball has started rolling. At the moment they are just requesting ideas from office monkeys on how to save the company money. Using fewer staples and not phoning the speaking clock...Instant coffee instead of Cappuccino...A tea bag between two. To be honest it's not looking good. The place hasn't had a new piece of equipment since the eighties and the only thing that might save us if we flog all the equipment at a retro fair before it all breaks. As well as my job I am helping out at university and taking a couple of law degree modules that I never had the chance to pick first time 'round. Interesting stuff and hopefully will look rather dashing on my CV. Problem is it's all a bit below board so need a figure out a way of wording it.

Cheating

“Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.” There are an immense amount of question and answer books available at the moment. On a number of occasions in the past I have been set an essay question exactly as it appeared in one of the question and answer books that I delved into purely for revision purposes. What to do? Copy it and change the odd word here and there. Have it in front of you but rephrase the whole thing. Use it as a guide to signpost key points required to answer the question. Follow the structure of the answer but use your own research. Attempt to improve on the answer. Have a go at the answer and then compare it later. Ignore it. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? It would be foolish to assume that there is only one copy of the book that you have in existence and the writers, publishers and anyone who had anything to do with the book or knew about it died in a plane crash. Wouldn't it?

Goodybye.

While not for one second wanting to make light of the desperatley sad tragedy of a 27 year old women dying from cervical Cancer and leaving behind two motherless yet extraordinarily financially secure children I feel it would be unpepysesque not to mention it, and I wonder if in hundreds of years time people will look at this blog as a primary source of information into how we were all feeling after the princess of BB passed away. I am perhaps a tad troubled by Gordon Brown 'leading the tributes'. Maybe he was genuinely touched by her plight and unspinningly felt moved to say a few words but... I also seem to recall reading that he wrote letters to all the X Factor finalists. Would there have been an outcry invented by the media had he not made a statement, like there was when Frau Batternberg didn't abandon her grieving grandchildren to say a few words to the overmourning nation Wh when Di died? Today a friend told me that she doesn't like watching comedians as they always say something that she finds offensive. They say (Not sure who) that comedy must offend someone to be funny. There must be one person who gets tearful at hearing a joke about a chicken crossing the road. Anyway I'm off for a chinese and then I may have something to eat.

I'm never gonna dance again

I feel like I am using you. Only blogging when it suits me! I resolve to change this as from next time I decide to blog. I am now a part time tea boy who is no longer strictly a tea boy and good old nepotism has enabled me to keep a finger in the law pie as I am now a sort of student / uni employee. All very odd and complicated and not strictly come dancing the done thing, so blogs may become intertwined with confusion and cock ups as I try to cover tracks and remain anonymous. To be honest, and you may find this hard to believe, I spend more time reading blogs than writing my own and as I have been away for a while I could really do with updating my blog list so if people would be kind enough to suggest the current movers and shakers while I cunningly sniffle the ones from other blog lists I would be most obliged. Thank you all for the kind words, crisp debates and welcome backs.

Evenin' all

I sit here demolishing a packet of Walkers Ready Salted flavoured Squares. I'm sure they used to be called square crisps?? Can you still get those crisps with a little bag of salt in them? I am also drinking a can of full fat coca-cola. So how are things. Long time no blog, what have you been up to, been anywhere nice? The title of this blog is now slightly misleading as I am no longer a law dentist. I now a deferred BVC student. This is all because life went a bit tits up during the summer and now instead of fascinating you with insights into the BVC and complaining about how little I am learning from such an astonishing amount of money I'm afraid I have to try and entertain you with the mudaneity of life as a temporary office boy. I'm not sure how this will work or even, indeed, if i want this to work...I may even start a new blog...or I may not bother at all... I may even tell you what happened to cause the upping of the tits. Until next time.

Watcha!

I am being returned to Earth.

The End I

This feels weird. I keep thinking I should be doing something. Reading something, making notes on something, preparing for something. I can't relax, watching TV, reading a book that I want to read, I still get that feeling that I can only do this for so long before I need to do some university work. I also finally quit the job a few weeks before the exams so I haven't even got that to do. The next few days will be spent packing and preparing to go back home to make my millions over the summer, so I really should be making the most of this time and will regret not having done so when I'm working 25 hour days, 8 days a week. We had our Graduation Ball a few days ago. Unbelievably overpriced and overrated pish. All half-arsed but what do people expect when it is organised by a committee of law students preparing for their finals. Most of the chaps made the effort and dressed in Tuxedos and the girls wore pretty frocks but it was still all a bit lacking and given the propensity for the majority of law students not really liking each other and secretly (and not so secretly in some cases) wishing failure upon one another it was a stark affair and severely lacking in atmosphere. Hardly the send off we expected. Best of luck to everyone sitting exams and or expecting results.

That time again.

It's that time of year again. Exams are looming and coursework is due to be submitted. It is almost the beginning of the end. Phase one is nearly over. I have been lucky enough to have been accepted to do the BVC but as a totally independent student with a horrendous credit file this must be paid for without the help of family and Bank Managers. This means my summer will be spent working every available hour. I was lucky enough to have a few quid given to me by those nice people at my Inn and a few pence from the BVC provider. But it's still going to be a hard slog, though I have allowed myself a few days off for the Reading Festival. The suffering is only made worse when a few days ago my flatmate turned up with a brand spanking new motor. A birthday present for his 22nd birthday. Yes 22nd! I am scared to ask what he was given for his 21st in case I blow up with jealousy. I keep telling myself that this is character building...

Failure to comply will result in...

The other day I had an email, sent to all law students, telling me that the Law School office is now open between 2 and 2.30 Tuesday to Thursday and students must absolutely not attend at any other time. And anyone who does turn up, except for dire emergencies will be reported to the Dean. We get a lot of emails telling us that such and such is now forbidden and failure to comply will result in being reported to the Dean. I've met the Dean a few times and he seems to be a nice bloke and I get the impression that he is fed up of people turning up at his office because his secretary has summoned them for drinking in the library or not putting the toilet seat down. They have also started doing random ID checks in the library and around the law school. This little old bloke who apparently has something to do with the Law School IT support walks around like he owns the place and randomly stops people and asks to see their student ID. More often than not he is told to piss off and he then asks them for their name and tells them that Robert Mugabe will be hearing from the Dean. I'm not sure what's going on to be honest. I had an email from my personal tutor reminding me that he is on study leave and will not be available for rest of the term. Study leave? Eh? Personal Tutor? Not available? I really don't get any of this. There was an email sent by one of the lecturers complaining that he was disappointed by the lack of people turning up for his lecture. He told us that if this trend continues he will be forced to take a register at the beginning of each lecture. How the hell is this going to work? There are close to 200 people on our year and as this is Land Law I would say that almost every person is enrolled on this module. By the time he had got through all the names the lecture would be over and he doesn't know who is who. It's bad enough in tutorials with just ten of us asked to write our names on a piece of paper and pass it on. Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II looks well for her age and has a pretty decent understanding of The Law and the Internet. Swears like a trooper though.

Bone Idol

I told you I'd be back didn't I. Not as quickly as you'd all hoped I'm sure but here I am anyway. So I'm sure you're all wondering where I've been for all this time. Well I'll tell you in a minute. First let me tell you how things are with me. Very good thanks for not asking. Everything seems to be going reasonably well at the moment and very little to complain about but I'm sure I'll still manage to find some stuff to whinge and groan about. Degree is falling into place, I think I've finally sussed how this law degree works and I've realised that there is no cheat or easy way of doing it. It's just work work and more work. The 'secret' is attending all lectures and tutorials. Sounds barmy doesn't it? I used to think I was a lazy until I moved in with my flatmates. I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like it. I miss the odd lecture because I can't be arsed. I sometimes spend the day tottering around the flat doing sweet FA and I've been be know to spend the odd day in bed and I am a world class procrastinator but these guys take the absolute piss and have taken lazy to a whole new level. I hate to say this but if these guys get their degree then it is proof if ever it was needed that the degree system is an absolute worthless joke because I can honestly say that in the months that I have lived with these guys they have not done a single iota of university work. It is well known that some courses are considered Mickey Mouse and there would be few who would disagree that Law is an intensive course. I would hate you to think that I am being snobbish - I have friends on other courses who work their bollocks off, work hard and play even harder. These guys neither work hard or play hard - they just sleep all day and watch TV all night. Zombies. They dedicate their lives to ensuring that they do no more than is absolutely necessary for anything. Examples include the use of paper plates and plastic cutlery to ensure they don't have to wash up after themselves. All food is microwavable and usually a Ready Meal eaten straight from the packaging it came from. God I really could go on and on about this but it's just too depressing. They are complete and utter waste of lives. Maybe I'm being harsh and maybe I'm being bitter as I sit here ready to read another 4 chapters of the Law of Dull while they sit in the living room engrossed by the latest goings on in Hollyoaks & Away followed by a double helping of Eastenders Street.

OK ...not that soon.

Student life has its ups and downs. It seems that some people concentrate on the ups and others on the down. I try my best to see my half empty glass as half full but it's not always easy. It's ten past four in the morning I am sitting in my room listening to what can only be described as a fucking racket. One of my fellow flatmates has become friendly with a girl from upstairs and she is unable to have a conversation without wailing like a banshee. She also has a habit of behaving as if it is 4pm in the afternoon and thinks nothing of calling from one side of the flat to the other and basically it comes down to her not having a thought about the other people who actually pay money to live in this flat and who not unreasonably would like to get some kip every now and then. The problem is that I am having difficulty deciding who I should be most annoyed with; the banshee or the flatmate who hasn't told her to shut the hell up because some people may be trying to sleep. You're probably not thinking well what about the other people in the flat, but now that I have mentioned it you probably are so I will explain... I live with vampires. Everyone knows that vampires don't like daylight, sleep all day and party all night but these are vampires with added extras - they don't like cleaning their own mess and something happens if the alcohol in their blood falls below a certain level. I don't know what because it has never happened. I used to think I was lazy but these guys are unwordably lazy. One of them has not left the flat for four months. The last time was to go downstairs to pick up the take-away. He has managed to avoid repeating this mammoth task by agreeing to pay for someone else's take-away as long as they go down to the main door to pick it up. But that's their problem not mine. When I say 'I'm off to bed lads see you tomorrow night' they respond with 'Goodnight Lawdent. Sweet dreams'. And I go to bed safe in the knowledge that they will spend the night in their individual rooms typing away to fat Americans on the internet. Quietly. Yes I can ask her to be quiet. Yes I can wear ear plugs. Yes I can have a word with him before bed tomorrow night. Yes I know it doesn't happen often and yes I love the guys like brothers but it's ten past four in the fucking morning!

Did you miss me?

Pedro

Well there it goes. Seems like only yesterday I was looking forward to the summer holidays and now before I have had the chance to do anything on my list of things to do it's time to head back. And a shite summer it has been too. Not a jot of sunshine and any day now it'll be dark by 4pm. This year I am living in shared flat. 3 of the blokes I am living with are friends of mine. A fourth bloke joined us the other day and he is Spanish. Claims to have been speaking English for three years but to be honest guys and gals it's not going well. I have started doing that thing that Brits do when abroad where they shout and use their hands a lot to make Johnny Foreigner understand...and while I regard myself as a reasonably patient chap it gets a tad infuriating when you have to repeat yourself five or six times and he looks at you each time with disgust and contempt in his eyes as if it's my fault he can't understand me. I was never a big fan of charades. My flatmates are a lot less patient than me. A Welsh lad, a Geordie bloke and an Irish guy (walk into a pub) who each refuse to calm their accents or use of colloquialisms. Spanish lad is often greeted with 'Alright Boyo', 'Howay man' and 'How's yourself there'. Unless I misunderstood he claims to have been playing guitar for seven years but I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he meant seven minutes and he's shit at pool. Except for all that he seems like a nice bloke and he is really making the effort to get to know us. I'm certain that by the end of the year he'll be fluent in conversational English. Oh and he also cooks what looks and smells like faeces. I swear to God it stinks the flat out and he has a habit of letting things soak. If he uses a pan, he leaves it to soak, if he uses a bowl or a cup he leaves it to soak, so the kitchen is packed with dishes and pans with water in them. We also discovered the other day that his mother has been living in his room with him for the past week.

TB or not TB

If you are not a regular reader of RollonFriday then you should be. If you are not familiar with the regular poster OneLungAmy then you should be. If you haven't donated a couple of quid to her charity appeal RUNNING FOR TB ALERT..WITH ONE LUNG!!! then you should think about it and then do it...be. It seems that the days of people knocking on your door with a scrappy piece of paper and a chewed up biro asking you to sponsor them are gone. These days you get emailed a link and you need to enter debit card details and stuff. Seems you can't sponsor less than two quid or put down 10p a mile. As a kid I ended up doing a few of those sponsored 'starve yourself for a day so you know how Ethiopians feel' jobbies and can honestly say I probably ended up eating more on those days than on any day of the year. Then you had to find all the people who had sponsored you and get your money from them. Took absolute ages and was a right kerfuffle. I wonder how much money is owed to charities from defaulted sponsorers. I always wondered why I had to starve myself and why you have to do something to get sponsored in the first place. That's probably why you don't see many people raising money for the blind because they don't fancy having to poke their eyes out for the day. A mate had decided to do a sponsored parachute jump and had to raise a certain amount of cash in order to pay for the plane hire and all the stuff that goes with it to jump out of it the first place. Seems a bit silly when the idea is to raise cash but instead loads of it is spunked on something that, let's be honest, he probably always wanted to do anyway. I also read somewhere that charity work can be quite lucrative and down the road from me the most plushest, modern, seemingly well equipped and spacious building belongs to the NSPCC. Seems a bit...uncharitable to me. Of course I am being obtuse and obviously there are people out there who give up a lot of their time and work bloody hard. University starts next week and I get my re-sit result two days later???

Resat

It was a peculiar exam. It was in two sections and the first section had just the one compulsory question and the second section had a choice of four with two to be answered. The compulsory question was the kind of thing I was expecting a 'Dave did this this this this and that and his mate Fred did this and that and got bit by a dog who had been left a house in a will. Advise Dave, Fred and the dog' question, but the question choices in section two were surreal and based on the last thing you would ever expect to come up in an exam and one of the questions required no knowledge of anything related to the subject and could easily be blagged by having just read a few papers or watched the news. Also I was sat in front of an air conditioning unit that had been set to snow. It was effing freezing!

Afternoon all

Howdy. My blog writing has fallen by the wayside which is inexcusable considering I can't really rely on the argument that it is the summer hols and therefore I have nothing to write about. My blog rarely features any law / student news. This is proof if ever it was needed that writing my blog is yet another tool of procrastination. When I have nothing to do I don't write it, when I am inundated with stuff to do I concentrate on Lawdent. Tomorrow I have my resit and as you can see from my lack of posts I have done no revision for it. In fairness though my revision was done first time round so I will spend today and tomorrow morning going over my original revision notes and hopefully with a wing and a prayer I will be a third year student before you can say Land Law. A couple of fellow students have, on passing their exams, decided to take a year out and delay their third years. One has decided to upsticks and move to the Isle of Man and the other has headed to the big smoke to work as a tea boy at a solicitors office. All seems a bit strange to me.

Harry Potter

Harry And Hermione finally get it on. My original plan was to find a swanky new place to live with my girlfriend for my final year and it was all going swimmingly until money became involved. Letting agents laughed when I revealed that I was a student and not earning a six figure salary and landlords requested ridiculous deposits and years of rent in advance. When we did finally find the perfect place after doing all the sums we decided that as it was my final year I should not be held hostage by rent and bills and it would be best for me to stay in my place. The problem is my place didn't want me. It turned out I was a few days late with a rent installment a few months ago and my file now had a dirty black mark on it so a letter was posted under my door informing me that they would not be able to renew my contract and I would need to vacate the room immediately. So I went down to the office and spoke to the Blob. I kindly asked her to reconsider and explained my dire situation, she didn't care. So I was technically homeless. I decided to squat for a few days while I sorted something out. Luckily four friends were due to move into a similar student accommodation block a few minutes away and had a spare room available in their flat so that's where I am. At the moment it's pretty cushy. I am here on my own but they are all due to move in any time soon and they are manky, scummy alcoholics so this is what I will call my year of living dangerously. I enjoy a few drinks as much as the next man but these guys seem obsessed with student cliches and being with them is like starring in Porkies. Also they are studying a well...less academic degree subject which basically guarantees a pass if they turn up now and then, whereas this year for me is going to be the big one with mountains of work. My new hours start in work on Monday and this means that mini pupilages may have to be put on hold. Unfortunately I need to work at the moment but I am not sure if I can cope with the amount of hours as well as the new shift pattern I am contracted to do and university. I will give it a go for as long as I can and in the meantime look for another job. Apparently a children's book called Harry Potter was released today. I gather this is the seventh and final book about an elf who lives in a land called Far Far Away. It has wizards, witches, magic and a ring. Someone dies in the end possibly.

Understatement of the Year

It's spitting.

Exam results and Princess Anne

I did very well in my exams even if I do say so myself except for one exam, the one with the migraine. This one I failed and not even by a narrow margin. I failed it miserably with a mark of 15 percent. Fifteen percent. I thought I'd get at least that for writing my name! Luckily I get to resit this exam as a first sitting which means basically that as far as anyone is concerned my resit will be the first time I sat the exam. So it is time to sit back and enjoy the summer. Work have still not got around to changing my hours - It's all very odd. Everybody around me is having their hours changed, meetings galore, tears, snot and tantrums but no one has mentioned or said a Dickie Bird to me. I have even sat in with a few people who were given their notice for refusing to adhere to the new hours. I expect it will all kick off when I'm least expecting it and I will deal with it then. House hunting has been woeful. I think I would do well to ditch uni and set up my own letting agency. I am amazed at how unremarkable these people are. One woman yesterday was supposed to meet us outside the gaff we were looking at. After half an hour there was no sign of her. We phoned the office to be told that she'd popped out on her lunch. I explained that she was supposed to meet us half an hour ago. I was told that yes this was in her diary and she would be there when she had finished her lunch. I was speechless. Obviously we never got to see that property. Yesterday I sent 3 emails and left 4 answerphone messages with different offices. How many responses have I had? A big fat Zero. It's all very odd. So if things carry on like this I will be homeless in a couple of weeks. The story about Princess Anne falling and berating the man who tried to help her has managed to wind me up. I defy any man or woman to be standing that close to anyone and not help. He should have given her a kick.

I Heart Law

I sort of enjoy studying law and it is genuinely what I have always wanted to do. Although funnily enough I told my parents that I wanted to be a burglar when I was a kid?? I have never contemplated another degree subject. I only wish I could love it a bit more. There are many law blogs in my feed and I enjoy reading every single one of them, obviously or they wouldn't be in my feed. Most of them are very different and most of them deal with a specific law related genre, but one thing they all have in common is that they are law blogs in the true sense of the word. The writers clearly cherish writing about the subject and I am amazed by some blogs written by fellow students who write with a depth well beyond their student years. Law is not a hobby for me. I certainly would never list it as an interest. The idea of going to bed reading a law book is abhorrent to me. I believe there is a humongous difference between enjoying your degree and loving law. To me it's all about the practice. It's about standing up and defending or prosecuting someone to the best of my ability. The degree is a means to an end and I can't wait for it to be over. I would like nothing more than to wake up tomorrow and be ready to go to work. I like the nitty gritty. This is when I will love law. Am I strange? Surely I should live and breathe my degree. I should take an obsessive active interest in anything law related. I should devour all legal books and sitting in a lecture should be an absolute pleasure and every tutorial cherished. When I turn an exam paper over my heart should flutter at such a delicious question. I should be depressed that I am now lawless and will remain so for another three months. But I don't, they are not, it doesn't and I am not...really... I am really not.

LawDent 2.0

My mate Mike is a big bloke. I have known him a very long time and he has always been a fat lad. He has been on thousands of diets and I can honestly say that none of them have ever worked, not even short term. People who go on diets usually tend to lose a few pounds to begin with and then for whatever reason end up giving up and all weight is put back on usually with a few extra pounds thrown in for good measure as the body's revenge for starving it and having ideas above your station. Mike has been to Weightwatchers, Slimming World, joined gyms, had personal trainers and If he has ever lost any weight I have certainly never noticed. Every now and then he claims to have lost half a stone and he walks around thinking he is an Adonis and starts wearing very tight T-Shirts. Mike also has an addictive personality, food, diets, sunbeds and he likes a flutter. Mike is a great bloke and is never without a girlfriend. We call him Shallow Hal because his girlfriends are always hideous monsters. His latest rhino has agreed to marry him and in 6 months time I will be his best man. Mike is on another diet so that he can walk from the car to the church without breaking into a sweat. I have mentioned previously that my student years have not been good to my body. Pounds have turned into stones and when I see someone who I haven't seen for a while they always comment on my expanding waist. So I thought this would be a good enough time to join Mike. Publicly I am in denial about my weight and as far as anyone is concerned I am doing this for Mike, to encourage him and help him along in his quest for slimity. The problem is that another one of Mike's many 'faults' is his obsessive competitiveness and instead of him seeing this as his buddy supporting him, he sees it as a who can lose the most weight competition. Every time Mike phones me he wants a breakdown of everything I have eaten or plan to eat. He wants to know if I have done any form of exercise and then he passes judgement and criticises. After all the various slimming clubs he has been a member of he is absolutely correct in everything he says but practicing what he preaches is not one of his strong points and as he is close to double my weight I would prefer if he just let me crack on with it and worry about himself. Also, it does not help when the future Mrs Mike lets slip that the foods he tells me he eats and the food he actually eats are very different indeed. It's all or nothing with Mike, two weeks of water and apples and then he slips and back come the takeaways and shite food. I should probably admit that my diet isn't going swimmingly. My plan is not to diet but to change my eating habits and incorporate more exercise into my day. I'll start on Monday.

The Green Green Grass

I have had a fantastic couple of weeks back home. Usually I get a bit tetchy after a few days and can't wait to get back to Studeville. Usually there are things to be getting on with but this time I was really able to relax. Stunning weather, beautiful countryside, fresh air, catching up with family and old friends. The only bad point was the inability to find a shop that opens later than 7pm and the lack of any corporate take-away / fast food places. After weeks of revision and coursework and months of tutorial preparations there still remains a niggling sense of guilt in the back of my mind when I do something that isn't related to university. Waking up with absolutely nothing to do is a strange sensation and I find myself constantly thinking that I have forgotten to do something important. No doubt this sensation will disappear as soon as my third year starts.

Flat required

I think I may have mentioned that my girlfriend has more or less become a fixture and so it was decided that it was time to move on to nicer surroundings. At the moment I live in what they laughingly call a studio room. This consists of a a small 'double' bed, an en suite shower that sometimes has hot water and a ridiculous 'kitchen' in the corner which is basically a sink, a microwave and a fridge. I have never liked living here but in terms of convenience it not only resembles one but it is an OK set up for a bloke living on his lonesome. I pay far too much for what it is and an astronomical amount for extras such as the internet and electricity. The lift works no more than twice a week which can be a tad annoying when you live on the eleventh floor. There is an office here with far too many staff but none of them seem to do anything and resent the people who expect them to do something. Things go unfixed and problems go unresolved until about this time of the year when soon-to-be-students start making enquiries about accommodation. Now you can't move around here because of the decorators and maintenance men tarting the place up to fool the potential intake of unsuspecting new students. The place is pretty much a shambles but, not wishing to sound patronising, I imagine it's fine and dandy for students who are just grateful to be out of their parent's house. I may have mentioned before that I am a wee bit older than my fellow students and moved out of home when I was 16. I have lived in some God awful places and I have lived in some palatial places. Flat hunting is hell. Most letting agents don't return your calls unless you are ready to fork out 2k per month and those who do get in touch invite you to view properties in the back arse of nowhere that are the exact opposite of what you asked for. Something that really annoys me is the amount of internet based letting agents that do not have pictures of the properties that they are seeking to rent out. Pardon my french but what is the fucking point!? Also I have noticed a growing trend of properties being advertised as from £650, closer inspection reveals extra charges for parking, lift maintenance, concierge etc and before you know it the rent you actually pay is closer to a grand.

Saturday night's alright for dozing

I don't really talk much about law on this blog do I? Having glanced over some of my previous posts it strikes me that it is all nothing more than gibberish. Nothing deep, meaningful or relevant to current affairs can be found amongst my wittering. My writing completely lacks insight and is unashamedly sparse in detail. I just seem to mither from one point to another. Sometimes I follow the rules of grammar and sometimes I doesn't. Every now and then I may throw in the odd full stop and depending on my mood, I may use a comma. I often make the mistake of relying on the spell check. If nothing is highlighted in yellow then everything's ok isn't tit? At the moment my room is an absolute tip. I don't know how this happens. It was spotless a few days ago but now there is just stuff everywhere and to be honest I don't know where to start and to be even honester I don't want to start. I'm cold and tired, have just got home from work and just want to get under the duvet and fall asleep watching TV and I suspect this is exactly what I am about to do. The tidying can wait. Rock N Roll or what!

No offence

A few months ago I went to see the doctor, my ear had been giving me a bit of jip, I was suffering from ear ache and infections all the time so the doctor prescribed some antibiotics (obviously) and referred me to see a specialist at the hospital. I rarely see the doctor. This is mainly because in this part of the world there is a convention that when you phone to make an appointment the receptionist tells you that they have an appointment available for three weeks on Sunday by which time you are either dead or better. Your appointment will be for 3.16pm but you will still be sat there waiting at 6pm. So on the rare occasion I do see a doc I tend to use the opportunity to mention a few things that are either current niggling problems or I think may be a problem in the future. The doctor loves it when I do this. On this occasion I mentioned that I wasn't sleeping very well. My girlfriend tells me that I regularly stop breathing in my sleep and many a time she has to dig me in the ribs to remind me to breathe. Also my sleeping had become very erratic, I would fall asleep at a sensible time and would then be wide awake two hours later and then I'd be tired and useless throughout the day. Nothing major, just thought I'd mention it. The doc mentioned something called sleep apnea and recommended I did not sleep on my back which I have done and the girlfriend has told me this has made no difference, even filming me on her mobile. Scary stuff. Imagine my astonishment when the doctor then told me the reason I was only sleeping for a few hours at a time was because I was depressed. I begged his pardon and he repeated that I was suffering from depression. No questions, no asking me how I was feeling, nothing. Now I'm no expert. This is the first time I had seen this doctor and he did not have access to my notes but on hearing that I'd had a few weeks of bad sleep he immediately diagnosed me as being depressed. I told him that I had nothing to be depressed about. I was a happy chappy, life was great and I was having the best time of my life. I rarely felt glum. I admitted that sometimes uni work was a tad overwhelming but all students feel this way sometimes. He looked at me sadly and told me that he would prescribe some mild anti depressants to see if they made a difference. So there I was expecting the sage old advice about a warm drink before bed and ensuring the bedroom was not too hot or too cold or at the very worst perhaps some sleeping tablets but instead I was told I was depressed. I told him I would give it a few weeks and if my sleeping did not improve I would get back to him. I went to the chemist to get my antibiotics. I went home and told the girlfriend what had just happened and she rather caringly held my hand, looked me in the eye and pissed herself laughing. She went off to meet her friends and I went to the pub. I thought nothing more about until a few days ago I was speaking to an old friend who had just had a baby. It was her first child, she had recently moved into a new area where she didn't know anybody and her boyfriend worked away and could only be home for a couple of days a week. This was a short term thing and in a couple of weeks her boyfriend would be home for two months solid and after that he would be home by 5pm every evening. For the next couple of weeks she had her mother staying with her to help out with the new baby and friends were all travelling to see her. So although it was a difficult time for her she was happy in the knowledge that this was a short term thing and in a few weeks life would be perfect. She had an appointment to see her doctor about women having just had baby stuff and when asked how she was she jokingly replied, as any women with a new born baby would, that she was knackered. The doctor looked at her very seriously and gave her a long talk about Post Natal Depression and before she knew it she was handed a script for mild anti depressants. I know people who tell me they are depressed. I worked with people who were regularly off with depression. When I was a union official I represented people in disciplinaries who had been off work for far too long to justify them still having a job because of depression and stress. It is impossible to open a newspaper or a magazine without reading some sordid details of a z list celebrity who has just checked in or checked out of The Priory and are 'living' with their depression. Now I am probably sounding like an unsympathetic and ignorant gimp and while I have no doubt that there are people seconds away from jumping off buildings, people who can't get out of bed because they genuinely can't face the world for whatever reason and I am well aware that the worst thing to say is cheer up and then to remind them there are people far worse off. I find it very difficult to take depression seriously. If I went to see a doctor and told him I was depressed does that mean I am suffering from depression? If I go see a doctor and tell him I have a broken arm but an Xray shows that I do not, will they put my arm in plaster? It seems to me that there is a medical diagnosis and a name for it available to justify everything now. Unhappiness is now an official illness. At school I had a friend, Dave who was without a shadow of a doubt a genius. He would know the answers to all the questions. Was the first to learn how to do long division, Could name all the planets in order, knew exactly what would happen if the teacher ignited the magnesium and could even explain why it happened but when it came to writing anything down it would look like a drunken, blind spider had fallen into some ink and gone for a stroll on Dave's exercise book. It was absolute gobbledegook but to Dave it made perfect sense. Dave was the first person I know to be diagnosed with dyslexia and a couple of afternoons a week he went to see a specialist teacher, after some time his writing made sense and he was reading out loud with the best of them. Then the floodgates opened. After a while any kid who did not get at least 8 out of ten in a spelling test was 'dyslexic'. All the naughty kids were obviously dyslexic and imagine the glee of the teacher when all the 'problem kids' were not disrupting the class for two afternoons a week. In secondary school the Education Authority decided that the best way of dealing with this was to give them laptops because this would obviously sort it out. Almost bankrupted them. A few years ago I was representing a young lad who had been employed in the company for a few months and in those few months he had done nothing, not a jot of work. He was given the same help and support as everyone else on the team but his productivity was shameless. His job? to put tins on shelves. He was never where he should have been, could always be found outside talking to his mates or in the canteen having a fag. In the interest of being seen to do the right thing, the boss, to start with, would just have a quiet word but eventually it became annoying for his team mates who would end up having to do his work too. He was hauled into the office and asked to explain himself. His reply - he had ADD. It was explained that unless he did some work he could not continue to be employed by the company and this was his last warning. Last I heard he was a manager. So is there no such thing as naughty children anymore? On another note. Exams are over WOO HOO! PAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

Failure is an option

Another week and I'll be exam free...well for a few months anyway. I have sat two exams so far and one I thought went well, the other was an absolute disaster. It is a rare day that I get a headache but when I do it is the mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Aunt, Uncle, Gran, Grandad, Family Dog and stray cat that does its business in your garden of headaches. In fact it would probably be described as a migraine cos no-one gets a headache anymore, just like there are no naughty kids in school, they all have ADD now. Nobody feels glum or a bit down in the dumps either, now they are manic depressives or bipolar. The world's gone mad I tells ya. Anyway I sat down and was ready to start writing when the tell tale blurred vision started, everything moves in slow motion and then the pain...oh my god the pain. Usually a couple of pain killers and a lie down in a dark room sorts it out but I don't think the invigilators (or my fellow examees) would have appreciated me asking them to close the curtains and turn the lights off while I crawled under the desk and two hours kip would have meant I'd be left with an hour to answer 4 questions. I was subconsciously torn and I'll tell you for why. Did I want to take the risk of passing with a low mark or should I have got up and left and re-sat in September? I'm not sure how it works at other universities but in my place 40% is a pass and we can only resit if we fail. So now, for hopefully the only time in my life I hope I fail.

Cosy coursework

On a day when I have determined that I will not be leaving my desk I find the knowledge that it's a tad nippy outside coupled with the soothing sound of rain beating on my window very calming. There is nothing nicer than sitting in my nice warm and dry room eating last nights left over pizza and alternating between coffee, tea and Coca Cola. I have a toilet within pissing distance and I sit here in my skankiest yet comfiest tracksuit bottoms and my most hideous and not to be seen by the public T-shirt. A wide choice of music which I can listen to as loudly as I want. I can answer my phone, send texts and even make phone calls (talk time permitting) as and when I please. I have access to all the books I need and the wonders of the Internet allows me to browse through articles, notes, cases and documents at a touch of a few buttons and a couple of clicks of my mouse. I have even discovered that I can listen to this mornings missed Chris Moyles show on line. Genius. The fact that I can listen to the show not Chris Moyles obviously. How did people cope pre-internet? Today I am finishing off some coursework that needs to be in today, electronic submission so another two fingers up at the rain. There is much fiddling and jiggery pokery needed. Sentences to be restructured, paragraphs to be re-written, quotes to be correctly cited and basically making the best of it and as it does not need to be submitted until 11.59pm mine will be submitted at 11.58.

Upping My Game

So far revision has just plodded along. Reading the odd book, making some sparse notes, doing the odd past paper, searching for the occasional article. Basically doing the bare minimum to justify the past academic year. I have spent far too much of my time drinking copious amounts of coffee and getting on with things that don’t really need to be got on with. Exam time is fast approaching and coursework needs to be submitted any day now. I must admit the coursework does not really phase me, I have been lucky (stupid) enough to have started and completed coursework on the day it has been due in before now, obviously this is not something I would recommend but horses for courses and all that. Some of my fellow students are looking incredibly stressed and some of them are looking as if they have given up on anything that is not revision. Those who normally wouldn’t dare set a foot outside the house without looking good enough to walk down a catwalk are sitting in the library with messy hair and beards and the men aren’t looking much better either. It’s that time of year when everything goes quiet. Text messages stop and the only phone calls I get are from family or non-student friends. No friends show up on-line on MSN messenger and it would be easy to mistake my halls of residence for a monastery. No loud music, no drunken shouting outside during the night. Just the surreal silence of study. So now it is time for the big push. I have managed to have holidays authorised for this weekend and I intend to use the time wisely (he says sitting here blogging). Some of the better lecturers have scheduled some revision seminars for next week. In the past these have been fantastic and something that ideally would be compulsory for all modules but for some reason this does not happen and irritatingly in some subjects we are still having lectures and will continue to do so up until the exam, with one subject insisting that a group presentation is carried out. It has been decided by the majority of students, certainly my group, that this will not be happening. So we will see what happens. It is a sorry state of affairs to hear that some students feel compelled to attend external revision courses. While I have no doubt that these are offered with the best intentions and the majority are reasonably priced for what they provide, I still can't help think that universities need to be doing a hell of a lot more to justify tuition fees. Charon makes a fantastic point about universities and law degrees in this post. There are easily well over a hundred on my course and the increasing habit of making 'handouts' only available online so that students must print them off themselves must be saving them an absolute fortune. The law blogs are inundated with the story of an alleged dirty, cheating, scheming, filthy, underhanded, position abusing President of a mooting society. This kind of thing really grinds my gears and I am ecstatic to see that there are people doing all they possibly can to ensure he will not get away with it. It will be interesting to see what, if anything, happens. There is a new addition to the UK Law Student Blog. Magna Carta has a fascinating background and I look forward to reading more from her. Anyway, back to the grindstone.

A way with words

This has been floating around the internet for a while and there have been numerous parodies of it. There are many stories behind it but the one I choose to believe is that it is an actual essay written by a college applicant. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.

Options

It is time to pick my third year modules. The online registration opens tomorrow at 9am and places are limited and on a first come first served basis. There are many to choose from and my head is battered. I have decided categorically some of the mods that I definitely do not want to do. Charity Law, Law and the Sexes and Law in literature and film (Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix is a 'text'book?!) so unless I am convinced otherwise by tomorrow morning I can see no reason why I, or indeed anybody, would pick these subjects. So now I am left with over thirty to choose from. I am going to base my decisions on the following factors. - Interest. - Timetabling. - Lecturer. - CVableness. The problem with picking third year modules is that it is a leap into the unknown. Going from two years of compulsory core subjects, with the possibility of re-sits and not much choice to decision galore and no possibility of re-sit is daunting and although there are comprehensive profiles of the subjects on the law department website it is still pretty much judging a book by its cover. You pretty much know what to expect from courses such as criminal, contract etc - does what it says on the tin - but with so many options it is difficult, especially when you know you are stuck with the module for a year and your degree depends on passing an exam on a possibly uncharted module that you soon discover is about as interesting as Hollyoaks. This of course(one) is the normal course(two) of events for most degree course(s) (three) that do not have professionally stipulated core subjects but nonetheless it is boggling. It is not helped when current third years condemn the options that I have been considering. comments such as 'Oooh you don't want to be doing that one' or 'stay well away from that' and 'I wish I hadn't picked that one' are as common as the guests on Jeremy Kyle. Well I will spend the remainder of the evening studying, researching, listing and weighing up the pros and cons of each module and then I will probably just register for the modules that my mates are doing.

Late

Another day in the library. Not many people in here today. I arrived pretty late. First time I have had the bed to myself in a couple of months and I slept like a baby log and didn't wake up 'til about eleven, eventhough I fell asleep at half eleven last night. Nearly 12 hours kip compared to my usual six or seven has left me feeling a tad groggy. Today I have been concentrating on Tort. I quite enjoy Tort because it is very similar to Criminal Law which I loved (well preferred to all other modules) last year and rather un-interestingly, having printed off all the available past papers there is a blatantly obvious theme to the type of questions. But knowing my luck this trend will not continue this year and I'll be left staring at the exam paper for 3 hours. I foolishly checked my mail box on the way out of the building and there was my GQ (a subscription present from a friend) I get it late because it is delivered to the wrong address and my neighbour kindly puts it into my mail box when he gets 'round to checking his, which is about six times a year. I have been known to open my mail box to find three editions in there. I have tried umpteen times to get the address corrected but nothing has changed. I say foolishly because the temptation was too great and when I was emptying my bag of notes, files, pens and books I couldn't help but have a quick browse through the magazine. One hour later, would have been a lot more were it not for the fact that for every one page of reading material there are eight pages of adverts, I put it back in my bag. I have nothing planned for this evening and there is nothing on telly tonight so I'm going to drift in and out of revision for the evening.

Lonely LawDent

When I arrived at work I opened my email and there waiting for me was a document from the HR team titled 'Shift review letter'. I opened the attachment and was astonished to read a letter telling me how they were pleased to tell me that they had increased my hours and had kindly agreed to ensure that none of my shifts would begin until 6pm. The new shift pattern would be communicated to me later by my team leader and this would all take effect next week. At the end of the letter a line read 'we will continually review patterns of work in line with the needs of the business'. I instantly sent my reply - I have not agreed to these changes. I would be grateful if you could arrange a meeting to discuss next steps (beat them with their own jargon). Obviously I didn't get a reply because obviously these people don't work Saturdays. Today I received a phone call from an exasperated head of HR. He wasn't happy. Insisted that these changes needed to be made and if I did not agree to them ultimately I would be given my notice. I explained that I wanted the company to justify the reasons why they need me to change my hours and shifts and that I would like to explore every possible avenue to avoid this. He said he would draw up a business case and present it to me. Doubt it will make a jot of difference but I might as well drag it on for as long as I can and get some fun out of it before I'm forced to call it a day. Today it was decided that the girlfriend is going to her parents for a couple of weeks so I can concentrate on coursework and revision. This is not a Will and Kate type split it is purely so I can get my head down without worrying about her being bored (Oooh er missus). This is one less distraction.

Redemption

I'm off to work. Hopefully there will be an opportunity to have a meeting about the new hours but I doubt it which is probably for the best. The longer they leave it the less likely they are to call me in and demand I change my shifts because time is running out. The lack of consultation thing will be a good tool to keep in my bag too. Red: Rehabilitated? Well, Now let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means. 1967 Parole Hearings Man: Well, it means that you're ready to rejoin society... Red: I know what *you* think it means, sonny. To me it's just a made up word. A politician's word, so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie, and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did? 1967 Parole Hearings Man: Well, are you? Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then: a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him, tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.

Sunshine on a sunny day

Today is a sunshiny day. I'm sitting in the dark and gloomy library. They have put the air conditioning on which, although keeping me nice and cool, sounds like a car revving its engine. It is very difficult to keep focused on revision on a day like this but I keep telling myself that in a few weeks I will have the Summer break to enjoy the weather and I won't need to set foot in this library again until October. The sun streaming through the occasional unblinded windows is highlighting the amount of dust in this room and for some reason I always feel really itchy sitting in here. It could really do with a clean. It would be nice to be able to revise at home but there are far too many distractions there. I have spent most of the day on a module I have been dreading and avoiding throughout the year. There is a girl sitting opposite me who is listening to her Ipod. Although these are banned from the library she has cunningly hidden the earphones under her hair. I can't hear the music though I expect I would be able to if the air con was off. Her phone keeps ringing and bleeping but she can't hear it. I have tried to catch her eye to tell her and have even held up my hand to signify the universal sign for phone but she just looked at me as if I was nuts. I see from her books that she is a first year student. This year seems to have gone by astonishingly quick. Soon the exams will be over and all being well I will be a third year law student. In an ideal world, my final year and that would be it and I'd be on my way to court in my wig and gown but no, this is just the beginning of another beginning. So Mr Dent how can you convince us that you are dedicated to a career at the Bar? Three years studying for a law degree, much of my holidays taken up doing mini pupillages, membership of an Inn of Court, a useless BVC that cost me 12k, countless interviews and rejections and now sitting here justifying and trying to convince you that I am the ideal candidate for a year long job interview.

Revision 101

Today has been a lot more productive than the past few days. I was up at the ungodly hour of 8am, had the three esses and a coffee, got dressed and made my way to the library for 9ish. Found a quietish corner and cracked on with a couple of past papers. I don't know if this happens to anyone else but while I was planning an answer for a Public International Law paper I became absolutely engrossed with something in a text book that had no relevance to the question I was answering or even to the module. I suspect this may be down to my procrastination habit but nevertheless it seems that there is nothing that won't distract me from revision. There was a different atmosphere in the library. I have mentioned before that there is usually a din of people engrossed in irritatingly loud conversation but even the usual suspects were nostril deep in text books and notes. I decided not to take the laptop with me today to ensure I wasn't corrupted by the demonic distractions of blogs, messenger and facebook but it turned out to be a mistake as I had a lot of cases that I could have looked up with the press of a key instead of searching shelves and indexes. I could have used the library computers but the exams would have been over by the time they'd booted up and anyway they were being studied by scientists who had discovered new breeds of penicillin on the keyboards. Had a bit of a break at lunch time. Made a few phone calls and drank some coffee (Viagra for the brain) and then it was back to the grindstone. If I carry on at this rate I'll be well on my way to Firstville. If, like me, you are a bit confused by what happened in Life on Mars.

Take a look at the lawman...

I am in the process of meddling and fiddling with this blog. This is because it is something that really needs to be done. It is of massive importance and my life depends on it and if I don't sit here and piss about with my blog instead of getting on with revision then the world will end. So folks I'm not just doing this for me. My room is spotless because this is also something that really needed doing. All books, CD's and DVD's in alphabetical order. I may even get round to putting the correct CD's in the correct cases tomorrow. I've had a bit of a headache today, this may have something to do with the recently purchased coffee machine and my addiction to latte macchiato. This much coffee can't be good for me! Revision has been slow today so tomorrow I'm going to spend the day in the mostly distraction-free library. I'm about to tuck into a take-away Chinese and then I will be settling down for the Life On Mars finale. There will never be a woman prime minister as long as I have a hole im my arse.

You're fired?

To make ends meet I work 15 hours a week. This keeps me in beans and Pot Noodles. Like many students, for me, working while at university is an absolute necessity and until recently most universities took a dim view of this. These days they accept that this is something that needs to be done and many universities have job shops and work in partnership with local businesses to ensure fair hours and time off for exams etc. I read (or dreamt) that 60 percent of students work during term time and 90 percent during the summer. Changes in funding have dictated that most educational establishments have embraced the fact that students cannot dedicate all their time to studying and make a big deal about work experience being a valuable addition to a CV. The NUS recommends that students do not work more than 15 hours and universities have their own recommendations usually between 10 and 20 hours per week (Oxbridge do not encourage working during term time but have lots of lovely bursaries for their students so they don't need to. I'm not bitter!) Our university makes it clear that working will be no excuse for poor performance and not accepted as mitigation in any respect. The Government gives money to universities, the old hardship grants now rebranded as the Access to Learning fund, for students experiencing financial difficulties that could result in them having to abandon their course. Certain categories of students get priority. I was lucky enough to receive 250 quid from this fund in the first year for the deposit on my accommodation. At the moment I only work during the weekends and I will occasionally work overtime if it suits me. This means that I do not have to worry about my studies as it is highly unlikely I would do any during the weekend anyway and no sane student goes out on a Friday and Saturday at those prices and even if they do I'm out of work by 6 at the latest. My days and evenings are free for study, clubs, societies, friends, interests and pub. Constantly changing timetables and the ad hoc request that a certain chapter of a certain text book should be digested by tomorrow only to discover that the particular chapter is the size of the Old Testament is a way of life on my course and I am safe in the knowledge that although I may have to miss the evening repeat of Neighbours or have one less pint at the Union so as to concentrate on something I can, usually, do what I need to do to avoid humiliation the next day. Until now! It seems that the company has realised that having me work 15 hours over two shifts does not make logistical sense and they would prefer that I worked four evenings a week, but realising that it would be unfair for me to come in for a worthless amount of time for each of these shifts, have decided that they will need me to increase my hours to 20. So a change of shift pattern and increased hours, both of which are totally unacceptable to me may be an employment law lawyers wet dream but to someone with other things to worry about this is a right pain in the arse. Not only will this mean a nightmare throughout the academic year but they want this to start these new shifts in the next few weeks which will completely balls up summer plans. At the moment we are in the middle of what they laughingly call the 'Consultation Period'. This is supposed to be a time for discussing the proposed changes with the staff, explaining why these changes are important to the needs of the business and a chance to give the staff the opportunity to raise concerns, but in reality it is a box ticking exercise where staff are called in and told these are the new hours, let us know why you can't do them and we will tell you your reasons aren't good enough and carry on regardless. My concerns that the new hours would almost certainly mean that I would miss certain lectures and tutorials, completely disrupt my vacation placement, mini pupillages and other events planned for the summer and that the proposed finishing times mean I would miss the last bus and either have to walk through the night or pay most of what I earn on that shift for a cab were noted and a few days later I received a call from HR telling me that my concerns were considered but they will still require me to work the new shifts! Another box ticked! The proposed new shift pattern will be unworkable so I plan to raise a grievance and maintain the status quo until I either get my own way or am sacked. I wonder how I can fit 'sued employer for breach of contract' into my CV?

The one with no title

During term time most of the main libraries are open 24 hours a day and the law library closes at seven. I am one of the many who prefer to work through the night, there's something romantic about sitting in an almost empty library when most people are snoring and farting in bed. Most books are available, people do not come and go and most importantly there tends not to be the huddle in the corner who think the library is just another place to go to talk about last night and arrange their social lives. Oddly during the holidays (and during revision time) the libraries tend to close at 9pm and the law library at 5. I suspect this is the university's way of ensuring that the students get a good nights sleep and revise wisely. New additions to the Notable Blawgs and Law Favourites are Legal Scribbles, who'd have thunk that I could be persuaded to sign up for Conflict of Laws for my 3rd year modules. Law Apprentice is a blog I will be paying particular attention to and I look forward to him starting his degree. Law Geek is a fantastic new site and I think it will make all my other law favourites redundant. Revision is going OK. I'm just beginning to get into my stride. Not spending as much time as I'd like but hope to make an impact starting on Monday. I'm packing up and heading home now as I have to work tonight. More about this soon. Eeek. I somehow managed to almost miss this - Legal Scribbles on preparing for exams and technique from Charon.

Hobnobbing. Ding Dong!

Exam time is looming and coursework needs to be prepared for and written. I am not sure if this will mean less posts or not. I suspect the procrastinator in me will dictate that I will continue blogging over this period and knowing me it will probably increase as I will justify it by convincing myself it is a revision tool. I've had an interesting few days. I attended a university dinner at one of the Inns of Court, I won't mention it by name but I will reveal that we did not stand to toast the Queen, and very enjoyable it was too. A fantastic turn out and an invaluable opportunity to speak to those in the profession, both young and old as well as the interesting and boring. It was also good to be amongst die hard wannabes students too. Some I thought perhaps a tad too die hard. To quote Suralan 'I don't like liars, I don't like cheats. I don't like bullshitters. I don't like schmoozers. I don't like arse-lickers.' and there were a couple who fell hard into the last two categories. There were of course the obligatory and ubiquitous doom and gloom talks but the overall theme was just get on with it but be prepared for the knock backs. One of the speakers put on a profound display where he gave us all a card with a number on it and asked us all to stand. He then read out 'the statistics' and asked the appropriate number to sit down as he went through each stage ending with a tiny number of us standing up symbolising the amount who would eventually get tenancy. I was left standing! A sign? During dinner I was sat with a couple of esquires and a QC who bore a striking resemblance to a younger John Mortimer [see above]. The younger barristers didn't really contribute much to be honest, but answered all our questions. The QC however was a fountain of knowledge and two hours with him was enough to cement my determination to pursue the Bar. Although I would happily have signed up for that particular Inn there and then I hope to be able to attend all the Inns before decision time and I highly recommend these university events. A few days later, much to my amazement, the usually useless Bar Society had arranged for some barristers from nearby Chambers to come to the Law School and mingle with us for an evening of cheap plonk and canapes. I suspect this event had a lot more to do with a couple of lecturers but nevertheless I attended. The barristers, all male and some of them recent graduates from the university, gave some amusing talks but nothing really insightful and then, I couldn't help but secretly admire them for this, went off to chat up all the girls in attendance and completely ignored the blokes. Those of us who tried to muscle in on conversations where made to feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. Eventually we got the message and the chaps drifted off. I found out the next day that the ladies were treated to a visit to a nightclub with all drinks bought for them.

Bookweb

There are times, not many, but there are occasions when I become addicted to university. I attend all lectures, seminars and tutorials, I'll even go to talks from visiting lecturers on a subject that has a whiff of relevance to one of my modules. I'll spend all available time in the library and shun friends and other distractions. Normally this passes after a few days and I revert to my old self. But during this moment of studentdom I feel that there is nothing nicer than being prepared for all seminars, tutorials and being able to understand what the feck the lecturer is talking about without having to revert to wikipedia for general, and usually incorrect, info. Law students spend a fortune on big, bulky and hideously overpriced text books that are out of date by the time you have flicked to the table of contents. All the recommended texts on my shelf look as good as new and this is because I rarely touch the things because I am reluctant to lug these breeze blocks around with me and because most of the stuff in them is superfluous to what you need to know to pass a degree. Most of them are written by masturbatory egoists with mind numbingly boring and complicated writing styles that in most cases make the subject more confusing than it needed to be. That is not to say that there are not some really good texts out there but they never appear on any of my reading lists and they certainly never weigh more than a bedside book. I should add that this approach to the reading list has done me no harm and don't get me wrong I do occasionally dip into the paving slabs but not until I have a comfortable grasp of the subject and only if I have time and someone close by to help me get it off the shelf. It should also be noted that there are some fantastic web resources out there and the university access to online databases such as Westlaw and Lexis Nexis etc, although requiring a degree in cryptography to use, are an invaluable tool and one wonders how students coped before the interweb.

No more bets please

Since I can remember I have always wanted to be a Barrister. I am the first person in my family to go to university. My mother has always been a housewife with odd jobs such as helping out in shops and my father works in a factory. I have 2 younger brothers. One is a computer nerd and spends his time writing software and I suspect, unless he makes his millions soon, he will go on to pursue his hobby at university, the other is, well let’s just say he’s not one for paying attention in class but give him something physical to do and he’s your man and I expect him to follow in his father’s footsteps. So why a barrister? Well I sit here and to be honest I really haven’t got the foggiest. I couldn’t tell you what made me decide one day that I wanted to dress up in a gown and wig and use language that would have been considered archaic in ye olden times. I watched Kavanagh QC and any legal dramas on the box but these played no part in my decision making because by this time my mind had already been made up. The stuff I was watching on TV just added fuel to my ambition. I did law at A level and at first I would not admit that I wanted to be a barrister, I expected the cries of incredulity from my classmates and teachers. How could someone like me aspire to the Bar, it was full of posh blokes with plummy voices and rich parents. One day I came out to my teacher during a tutorial meeting and he didn’t raise an eyebrow, he didn’t go quiet and most importantly he didn’t piss himself laughing, he just wrote down what I told him and checked that I knew what I needed to know and that was it, there was no turning back. My decision was set in stone. Law at university, a few talks by the careers service which didn’t really tell me anything new. A presentation by the College of Law who alluded that we might want to have a good relationship with our bank managers, but that was about it really. But blinded by the path though I was I knew deep down that this was not all going to be plain sailing. Now with only a few months left until the end of my second year reality is beginning to sink in and although it pains me to admit this I think it would be fair to say that it is highly unlikely that I will be a barrister. My A levels, while by no means disastrous are not 7 A’s. I do not expect to get a first from my Redbrick. I am A wee bit older than most of my fellow students and already on the bare bones of my arse, further financial uncertainty for the next few years is simply not something I could survive. The risk of forking out megabucks for the BVC with no guarantee that there will be pupillage at the end of it, I may as well wait for the Manchester Supercasino to turn up and put 12k on Red (better odds). Even if I was lucky enough to get a pupillage do I really want a year long job interview, making tea and photocopying with the possibility of being told after 12 months that unfortunately I am one of the seven that won’t be getting the job? Well I have a few more months, a few mini pupillages, a couple of dinners at various Inns, a vacation placement and various insightful blogs to read. I’ve got this far against the odds, who’s to say (ignore above) I can’t go further? I think I’ll carry on wearing the blinkers for now.

I'll do it later!

Today I have an obscene amount of work to get through. The reason for this is because I am a world class procrastinator. I have had two weeks to prepare for and complete this work but I decided to leave it until today. So I am awake at 7.30am and so far I have made a cup of tea, watched the news, checked emails, read the news on line, read other blogs and now I'm writing this. The problem is procrastination coupled with being a lazy fecker is a potentially deadly combination and you'd think that all the times I have got away with it by the skin of my teeth would be lesson in using my time more wisely. But no, each time I tell myself never again but you'd be amazed how quickly again arrives. There are those who consider studentdom a full time job, with perfect timetables and schedules dictating every toilet break in their day. Working 9 - 5 with regular overtime. Yeah that's all well and good but it's not what being a student is all about is it? There would be no-one to watch daytime telly, no-one to order takeaway at 3am and the sky would fall. I work immensely better when I know that I have 3 hours to get something finished that should take 5 hours. To quote the late great Douglas Adams "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Well I'd better crack on. This coal won't wash itself.

What are you in for?

I understand that there is a convention in prison that you do not ask another inmate what he did to be incarcerated and it seems that it is not the done thing to ask another student what mark he got in his exams. The only answers I have heard so far are 'I did ok', 'Yeah yeah I did very well', 'still on target for a 2.1', 'I passed.' 'could have done better'. As a law student with friends who are not law students they are horrified when I tell them how competitive some of the students are on this course. Examples such as deliberately undermining fellow students during tutorials. Taking great delight in explaining to tutors that so and so is absent because they were out drinking last night and could not face the 9am session and the infamous ripping out of relevant pages or hiding text books and articles in the library essential for upcoming tutorials. There were stories about a few students who were responsible for writing up the report for group presentations completely reinventing their roles during the presentation and including some comments about other members not pulling their weight. Of course the version handed in to the tutor and the version given to the rest of the group were very different. There are also the students who ask a question during lectures, even though they know the answer just to get the attention of the lecturer. I observed a gut wrenching performance the other day from a girl a couple of rows ahead of me who interrupted the lecturer mid flow to reveal that she knew / ask something. It is my belief that most lecturers like the sound of their own voices and believe that everything they say is measured, weighted and of utmost importance. They are so great that nothing they say should need further explanation and these interruptions are an insult to them. There are those who think they are friends with the professor. Going over to speak to him during breaks and waiting behind after the seminar has finished... There always seems to be a huddle competing for the sycophant of the day title. There are on the other hand those who go out of their way to deliberately antagonise the lecturer, with some going as far as to argue and disagree with something that he has said. One chap spends his time surfing the web to check on points that have been made and raises his hand to correct the lecturer if he finds conflicting information. This always goes down well and you'd be amazed how often the WiFi doesn't work in that theatre.

Fat Student and Caffeine

Before I arrived at University I was a slim fella. I wasn't a gym goer, wasn't much of a sports enthusiast except for the very occasional game of football but I was blessed with the ability of being able to eat anything without putting on a pound. These days I only have to walk past a Mars Bar and I put on two stone. Clothes have sneaked up from size small to large, waist from thirty-two to thirty-cough and weight has jumped up from a healthy 10.5 to a gut busting 13 stone. Friends and family have commented and the girlfriend has been making stealth observations. There is a gym at the building but [insert lame excuse here]. Fact is folks something needs to be done. It ain't pretty and if I don't nip it in the flower it's only going to get worse. Apparently eating less and exercising more will sort me out... I can't see this working though... Surely if it was that easy no-one would be fat! Talking of food, I was reading Diary of a Law Student and was fuming to read at his place students sit in lectures with coffee. Something that has always grated about my place is that drinking and eating is strictly prohibited in all lecture and seminar rooms and by Jove this rule is vehemently policed. Lecturers turn a blind eye to a quick swig from a bottle as long as it is brought out of a bag and put back in straight away, but in our building there is a caretaker who puts the caretaker at Hogwarts to shame. He regularly patrols the lecture theatres and if he sees anyone doing anything that he doesn't agree with he insists the lecture stops, puts the lights on and humiliates the culprit. Rarely a lecture takes place without the food, drink and mobile phone warning taking place. There is one lecturer who begins with a PowerPoint on this subject. Surely coffee permitted at lectures will decrease instances of student nodding off.

Dapper Facebook

Today has been a lazy day. I say that as if lazy days are a rarity when in actual fact I probably have more lazy days than non lazy days. I am in the law library having arrived about 20 minutes ago. I slept appallingly last night so decided to spend most of the day in bed. As it is now well past most of the day and to feel slightly less guilty I decided to come to library while my lovely girlfriend makes me lasagna. This library closes any minute, in fact the librarian has just made his ten minute call so I'm going to pack up. I am currently addicted to Facebook and from glancing at what others are doing on the computers, so are the rest of my fellow students. Speaking of my fellow students there seems to be a strange amount of them wearing suits. I sit here in my jeans that could probably walk themselves to the wash, my well worn and badly faded T-shirt and my skanky old trainers. I think wearing suits at university is a tad pretentious and would only happen on a course such as law. Interestingly I can't think of any lecturers that wear a full suit. It's time to go so I'll leave it there for now.

Ticking Away The Moments...

...that make up a dull day. I am a member of various university clubs and societies. The Law Society, The Bar Society, The Student Pro Bono Society, Mooting and Debating Societies. Some of these required a one off subscription and some of them were free and just grateful for people turning up. I can honestly say that the societies that want money have been the biggest waste of time. 15 quid to the Law Society and what do we get? The occasional email, sent to the whole law school, to tell us there will be a pub crawl and the annual Law Ball which anyone can attend but Society members get a whopping 2 quid off the ticket price! They have no idea who are members so everyone gets the 2 squids reduction. The Bar Society. I joined this in the first year, handed over my cash and didn't hear a word from them for the whole year. I even put my name down to join the committee and turned up to a meeting where I was told to wait outside because the existing members needed to have a chat. 30 minutes later they were still having their chat so I went home. This year has been better. I have had a few emails to say that any day now they will be arranging something. Oh actually they arranged a visit to the local Crown Court a few weeks ago because, as I'm sure you all know, this has to be arranged months in advance because not just anyone can stroll in off the streets and sit in the public gallery to watch a trial...Oh hang on... Yes they can. I had heard on the grapevine that there had been some tickets given to the Bar Society for a student dinner at an Inn. It was common knowledge that in the past these tickets had just been shared out amongst the committee members and their mates. After a several ignored emails I managed to secure a ticket, for 15 quid, and will be attending a student dinner next month. The SPBS started off well (free). There were various meetings and the bloke in charge was a prolific emailer, even arranged a coach for a talk at the College of Law and it was all set to go and then nothing. The last email explained that it was a massive amount of work and with exams coming up it was probably best to wait a bit and it would be reviewed for next year, but 3rd years could not participate because of the training required. Mooting (free). I did this in the first year and I was a complete and utter disaster. We followed the rules and didn't read out our arguments and sounded like bumbling idiots whereas the other side read their argument out word for word and the judge didn't bat an eyelid. The other side also changed their argument but didn't bother to tell us and the judge just shrugged it off. They were also extraordinarily ungracious in victory. This year I put my name down again, but too many people wanted to do it and my name wasn't pulled out of the hat. I would liked to have another crack at this. I have attended a few of the moots and one of the part time lecturers has taken the reigns and it seems to be well run. The Debating Society is extremely well run and another free one. Regular emails, even a website and weekly debates as well as guest speakers, competitions against other universities, visits to Parliament and all that jaz. They even give out cakes and drinks. At the beginning of this year I decided to have a go at fencing. If it's good enough for John Deed and James Bond then it was good enough for me. I thought. Absolutely hated it!

ZZZZZzzzz

I am new to blogging but in my short time I have come across some fantastic blawgs. Most of them listed in the Notable Blawg column. I spent a lot of time last night catching up with those in my feeds and even stumbled upon some new ones thanks to the various links provided by other bloggers. Some are very informative and invaluable to any law student and some are entertaining. Most manage to be both informative and entertaining. Not wishing to deliberately single any out but as a wannabe barrister I am addicted to PupilBlog and the newly discovered (for me) BabyBarista. Both I suspect more insightful than any mini pupillage. Then of course there are those by fellow students, those useful to my subjects and those who are heroes to the blawg community. All great stuff. I'm writing in the library. I have an hour before a 50 Minute Tort snoozefest. The law dept is wise to how some lecturers are duller than Dave Dull from Dullsville so they alternate lecturers. Some are great and some are not. The annoying thing is that compared to many modules, tort is not a boring or an especially difficult subject but when it is being delivered to you in a low-monotonous-would-rather-not-be-here voice you start to wish...well for anything that will make it all stop. The other day the fire alarm went off and the cries of 'Yes!' could probably be heard by a tribe of deaf Nguni's in that place where Paddington Bear comes from. Today is pancake day. I love pancakes I do and I will let you all into a little secret... I have been know to eat pancakes even when it isn't pancake day! My lovely girlfriend was good enough to make me some for breakfast and after we have been to Weatherspoons for Grill Night I'm sure I will manage a couple more. I'm a lemon juice and sugar man myself though I will occasionally try syrup. Right then I'm offski.

Typical me

A week of writing each and every day and then nothing for weeks! So what's been happening? Not much to be honest. The girlfriend is staying with me at the moment which is another reason for not blogging. Didn't do too badly in first semester exams. Public International, a not too bad even if I do say so myself 66 and European, a stonkingly impressive 72. I hope the trend continues, especially after my disastrous first year results. I must admit to being shocked by the Euro results considering I did the bare minimum of revision. Must not get cocky though! Coursework questions will be available next week and I intend to break with tradition and crack on with it ASAP instead of staying awake for two days solid and handing it in with seconds to spare. I should also be making more of an effort to attend lectures. We have some really boring lecturers this year who just basically read from the handout but by not going I am missing out on the rare nuggets that will prove invaluable on exam day. Timetabling is a bit of a mess for this year too, an hour here and there makes getting up for a 9am lecture with nothing then 'til 2pm extremely unappealing. The girlfriend likes the idea of living with me so we have been looking for somewhere else to live. So far so bad. Letting agents around these parts don't get out of their chairs unless you want to look at the 2k a month flats. Busy day tomorrow, lectures galore and a tutorial that needs to be prepared for. Oh and I'm getting used to the Times Online now and I'm even starting to like it. Evenin' all.

Lime green

The revamped Times Online web site is going to take a bit of getting used to. For now I don't like it but I suspect it may grow on me. It's just ...well it's just not The Times. The once sober and serious Times has now had a few Cheeky Vimtos and is dancing on the tables. Perhaps a media mid life crises. I should now be struggling to stay awake in my Tort lecture but after a restless night I couldn't face it, and as I am a prolific snorer I thought I would save myself the embarrassment and have come home for an afternoon nap in the comfort of my cesspit. Had a good EU tutorial this morning. Free movement of persons. The Prof knows his stuff and can be quite funny and unlike his predecessor he throws questions out to the class instead of picking a random name from the register. Also this session has a good bunch of people. None of the dreaded keenos. I have decided to abandon my old pretentious writing style. The Law cafe has invested in an elaborate and complicated new fangled coffee machine. In the past one would stroll up to the counter put the cup in the appropriate place and press the button and voila! coffee. Now the poor lady behind the counter is surrounded by all kinds of dials, levers, buttons and spouts. Now we have to give her our order from a wide selection of choice and then she disappears behind a cloud of steam. 'Tonight Matthew I will be making you a Hot Chocolate' Then what seems like ten minutes later she hands over a cup of frothy milk with cocoa sprinkled on top and charges a couple of quid. The poor woman is no spring chicken and has obviously been on some intensive training course to use this machine. She looks stressed and is not happy about the size of the queue caused by people having to wait ages to get what they want.

Orange

1 hour and 35 minutes on hold waiting to speak to someone at Orange! This has got to be a record. 'We are currently receiving a very high number of calls so you may experience a delay. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. Please hold and we will answer your call as soon as possible.' Lawdent works at a call centre and has never known any of the punters to be waiting more than fifteen minutes. Girl who answered was very apologetic and explained that they are genuinely experiencing a very high number of calls and they were all working flat out. She mentioned with amazement that even the managers were manning phones. First tutorial today. Lawdent always dreads tutorials as he had a few bad experiences with the tutor from hell in the first year which almost resulted in his expulsion for offering said tutor outside. He always thinks he hasn't done enough preparation and usually he is right but today was a good one. Lawdent wishes that some of his fellow tutees would learn that it is better to contribute when you have something worthwhile to say instead of when you can't hear your own voice. When the Tutor starts to raise his eyes it's probably time to stop talking. Only a two hour lecture today and while not sleep inducing, nothing riveting either. EU tutorial tomorrow. Have already done a lot of work on this so just some gentle reading material tonight. Full day tomorrow including two hours of tort with Mr Hypnotic so I'd better stock up on the pro plus.

Bird Flu

BBC says 'Tens of thousands of turkeys are being gassed at a farm in Suffolk in a bid to contain Britain's first mass outbreak of the H5N1 strain of bird flu.' Bird Flu Victim.

Times has sense of humour

Sunday woes

Lawdent is not sure about this writing in the third person but he will continue with it for now. The weekend is usually for his soul destroying part-time job at a call centre but this weekend has been spent in front of the TV. Tutorials begin tomorrow and Lawdent has done no work for them. It is now 2.50pm and he is about to watch the OC. The art of switching the TV on and ensuring he is not traumatised by the sight or grating voice of June Sarpong OBE means that he usually misses the beginning. He has also texted every single person in his phone book and has, so far, received a paltry 3 replies. First tutorial is Public International Law so a lot of reading and preparation needs to be done tonight (and tomorrow). Lawdent is glad the old Summer is back.

Insomnia

Lawdent is astounded by the amount of people who claim to suffer from insomnia. Fellow students who send emails at 3am are asked why they were awake at that time and they proudly reveal it's because they are insomniacs. Asked what time they went to bed the night before, they delight in explaining that they managed to fall asleep at about 5am and when asked what time they woke up, they mumble that they were bright eyed and bushy tailed at 3pm. 10 Hours sleep!!!! This is not insomnia. This is a bad sleep pattern. This is being a student. They also usually fail to mention that they had fifty winks after Neighbours. An insomniac would kill for 10 hours kip. Lawdent is still awake at the wee small hours because of two things. 1. He didn't get up til 3pm, and 2. The bin is giving off a sickening pong and he is not taking it to the outside bin in this weather.

Harder than it looks

Lawdent though it would be easy to write a blawg. Sit here venting his spleen about the things that irritate him in life. A room 101 of the blogging world if you will, assuming, no doubt incorrectly, that there isn't one already. But when it comes to putting finger to key it's not that easy. Lawdent thinks the best thing to do is to write without vanity, the first, second and possibly third things that come to his head. He intends to use this blog as a revision tool, therapy and yet another reason to avoid doing some work. Procrastination get thee behind me! Lawdent won't be doing one of those 'about me' paragraphs because...well because he doesn't know what to say except that he's a second year law student at...well somewhere in the UK. The rest you will get to know from his ramblings.